Miss you so much Mum…

I love this photo of my wonderful Mum. It was taken before she was my Mum…about 3 years before I believe. She looks so happy, so cool even & so young! I know that I would have been great friends with her back then, just as we became as I grew up. We were totally on the same wavelength, we laughed at the same silly things & we shared the same opinions on so many things. This got me thinking, that we never really think of our parents as being young & carefree; glowing with the joy of youth & having hopes, dreams & ambitions. We see them as sensible, practical & older; having the answers for everything & seeming to know what to do in any situation. Then we become parents ourselves…our own youthful looks change; we worry, we’re tired & we ‘wing it’ a lot! And then realise that that’s exactly what they must have done too, but all very convincingly!

I am increasingly envious of my friends who still have their Mums in their lives. Even more so now that I’m a Mummy myself. Sometimes I just need the reassurance that only a Mum can provide: that ‘all knowing’, sound advice & unconditional love. And the time to listen & help. It breaks my heart every single day that she never got to meet Benjamin – the grandchild that she so longed to have. I know she would have been the most fantastic, fun, hands-on Granny & he would have adored her as well.

I can’t believe that it’s been three years today since she passed away. I think about her so much; often trying to second guess what she would suggest or say, but of course, will never really know for certain. It makes me realise how precious our time is with our children & try to show Benjamin how much he’s loved every day; even when he’s being a little monkey! I want to give him lots of good memories, to hopefully provide comfort when I can’t be there for him. Sounds dramatic I know, but I’m very aware that our time on this earth is so incredibly fleeting & we need our happy memories to carry us through the grief & hard times: knowing that we were loved, wanted & important to someone too.

Love & miss you so much Mum & really that you’re watching over us xx

Letters to my baby…

Today I have finally finished writing all of Jamin’s 12 letters ☺️ This has been such an emotional experience: from the moment Tim gave this book to (a newly pregnant) me during Christmas 2017, to when I was thinking about what I wanted to write in each of his letters, right up till now, when I feel a bit sad that it’s all over.

I guess losing a parent & some dear friends has made me even more acutely aware of my own mortality; so writing my thoughts, hopes & dreams for my own (now not so) tiny baby seemed so surreal & really quite daunting. I just hope that we will bring him up well enough so he can cope with anything that life throws at him & also give him lots of happy, precious memories to cherish & take comfort in when we can no longer be with him: ultimately knowing that he was long waited & prayed for & loved more than he’ll ever know 💙☺️

Now I’ve just got to remember where I put it, ready for his 16th birthday! 🤔

Such a thought-provoking book…

Welcome dear readers, thank you for stopping by!

Let me introduce myself & my blog. I am Lucy…I’m 39 & have recently become a Mumma for the first (& definitely the very last!) time in June of this year. My little boy is called Benjamin & we live on the South Coast of England with his Daddy (my husband) Tim, along with a grumpy, elderly cat called Merlin (who is actually a girl). We also share our home with Tim’s two other children, Chloe & Josh, who stay with us regularly. Sounds a bit like a non-traditional version of the Usbourne Book series, “This is Apple Tree Farm. This is Mrs. Boot, the farmer. She has two children Poppy & Sam, & a dog called Rusty.” Don’t panic, I won’t start all my posts like this. I promise.

I guess my idea for the blog name came from my delightful & rather copious pregnancy notes. It was the very first thing that was recorded about me when the doctor saw my age: ‘geriatric mother’ was scrawled across the first page. It stuck with me. Sounds awful doesn’t it? The phrase itself almost shouts, “So why have you left it this late lady?” It’s cold, impersonal & downright rude, as if I’m too old to fulfill my maternal responsibilities & have to be monitored closely; which I wasn’t until the end of my pregnancy. I will talk about my reasons for late motherhood in another post, but for now, my primary intention for this blog is to record my family’s adventures together, as a lasting time capsule if you will, & ultimately for Benjamin to cringe over when he’s older. I initially started detailing some of our escapades on my personal Facebook page, when one of my closest friends suggested I write a book & that she would even consider buying it, well maybe, if it was on a special offer. I was inspired & this is my first step in the process & I hope you like it. Also, I thought the term ‘Mumma’ was much more friendly & fun rather than ‘Mother’, so in my eyes, I created my very own oxymoron by combining the two terms. So now you know the reason behind the name & why I’m doing it. I will always try to keep things light-hearted, often unintentionally funny & hopefully relatable. I’d love to read your comments & feedback of your own adventures in parenting. Essentially, I’d like to know I’m not the only one going through these things alone, regardless of my age. I hope you enjoy a little insight into my life…